Middle East Mess Caused by Global Warming and George W. Bush

On further review, I find that the mess in the Middle East was caused by a combination of global warming and George W. Bush. Our Dear Leader was at a fund raiser and playing golf when the mess happened, so he had nothing to do with it. As a matter of fact, the first he heard of it was when he read about it in the newspapers. The White House TV system had crashed at the time and email wasn't working either, so the Smartest President Ever had Valerie Jarrett read the story to him from hard copy. The Chicago Machine Prodigy said he was outraged and that the situation was unacceptable. No one could have predicted the ISIS attacks in Iraq because they started as a small demonstration in reaction to an internet video, according to Susan Rice. The President said that if Iraqis liked their country, they could keep their country, period.