How Likely Is Hillary's Indictment

If you're willing to believe FBI Director Comey will recommend indicting Clinton before the November election, I have a very interesting real estate proposition for you. I own a bridge that connects 2 Boroughs of New York City and due to a cash flow problem I need to sell right away....

[In the US, it's a classic scam to sell the Brooklyn Bridge to new immigrants or visting farmers from out of town who don't know that the government owns the bridge.]

Death By Terrorism Unlikely, So No Worries?

Some people say that since the odds of being killed by a terrorist right now are much less than being killed by lightning, we shouldn’t spend much time worrying about it.  This position, that we don't need to fight terrorism because so far the odds of being killed by a terrorist are very, very low, reminds me of a bad joke. A man jumps off the Empire State Building. Half way down he comments, "OK so far!"

http://www.nationalreview.com/article/413932/why-terrorism-more-frightening-lightning-charles-c-w-cooke

Yucky Lunches Will Yield Next Generation of Republicans

Michelle Obama's nutritious but unappetizing lunch program guarantees a generation of young Republicans in the near future. These kids are not going to forget who gave them a choice between yuck and hunger. They will want to get even and could spend a lifetime doing it in the voting booth.

Gruber Subpoenas will Cause More Disks to Fail

As everybody in IT knows, the leading cause of disk crashes is subpoenas. All Issa's Congressional subpoenas are going to do is cause more unrecoverable hardware failures. And don't ask for any backup tapes or disks or cloud storage. The government has a very modern system of backup to floppy disks and punched paper tape, but they overwrite it every two weeks in order to economize. 

http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/394553/gruber-documents-subpoenaed-john-fund

California Regulates College Hookups With New Law

California governor Jerry Brown, in answer to the alleged “rape epidemic” on campuses recently signed the new “affirmative consent” law. It will require a verbal “yes” at every stage of amorous activity on college campuses.  I have a few legal questions. Can this requirement be waived if the participants sign a pre-coital contract? Is sex sufficient consideration for the contract to be valid under California law, or must other consideration be exchanged? If other consideration is exchanged, does the contract become illegal solicitation? Should I consult my legal team before my grandson goes on dates in California? Does the law apply to same sex couples? If the law does not apply to same sex couples, can college students sue the State of California under the Equal Protection clause to get the law ruled unconstitutional? Is being expelled for failure to stop on command cruel and unusual punishment? Is stopping on command torture under international law? I have a few more, but you get the general idea. 

At this point, another commenter suggested that the written contract possibly could be invalidated at any time by an audible “no” for either of the involved parties. This surprised me.  I assumed, perhaps in error, that a written contract would be enforced. However, perhaps there is a penumbra in a written contract that allows retraction on demand. This would be a good point to bring up with my legal team in a pre-dating consultation with my grandson.

Here's a link to the article I reacted to:

http://www.nationalreview.com/article/389798/left-storms-californias-bedrooms-jonah-goldberg

Zombies are a Key Demographic For Chicago Democrats

Zombies are a key voting demographic for Democrats here in Chicago. They are no information voters and also eat other voters' brains. You guys down in Louisiana should watch out in the coming Senate Runoff Election. 

If Barry REALLY Meant to Destroy ISIS

Barry the Magnificent's plan to control all Syrian air strike targets from the White House gave me the sense that I had heard this one before. Didn't LBJ pick bombing targets in Vietnam? Yup, and it didn't turn out so well. I also remember Vietnam Era commanders commenting during Iraqi Freedom expressing jealousy of the Iraq War commanders' ability to bomb whatever military target they wanted without having to get White House clearance. It's clear our Dear Leader doesn't really want to destroy ISIS. The Smartest President Ever just wants to get through the 2014 election and turn out his pacifist base without enraging low information voters who want ISIS creamed. If the Prevaricator in Chief really wanted to destroy ISIS, there's a formula for that now. "ISIS, if you like your territory, you can keep your territory."  Or even more threatening, he could say, "ISIS, if you like your lives, you can keep your lives."    In a comment on the above, Chasseur responded, "if he really REALLY wanted to destroy them .. he'd just become their President."

http://www.nationalreview.com/article/388384/jihadi-logic-charles-krauthammer#comment-1596462074

On further review, I have to add the following:
If Democrat administrations should continue for a hundred years, the explanation for all problems encountered will still be "Bush did it."

This is NOT a New Iraq War

Just as it depended on what the definition of "is" is, now it depends on what the definition of "war" is and even what the definition of "Iraq" is. The attacks against ISIS are not "war" but instead "explosive kinetic action of an air origin." And they are occurring in the "Kurdish regions of the Middle East" which include not just pieces of Iraq, but also pieces of Syria. As a result, this is not a return to war in Iraq, but "explosive kinetic action of an air origin in the Kurdish regions of the Middle East." That's totally different! (Snark)

Middle East Mess Caused by Global Warming and George W. Bush

On further review, I find that the mess in the Middle East was caused by a combination of global warming and George W. Bush. Our Dear Leader was at a fund raiser and playing golf when the mess happened, so he had nothing to do with it. As a matter of fact, the first he heard of it was when he read about it in the newspapers. The White House TV system had crashed at the time and email wasn't working either, so the Smartest President Ever had Valerie Jarrett read the story to him from hard copy. The Chicago Machine Prodigy said he was outraged and that the situation was unacceptable. No one could have predicted the ISIS attacks in Iraq because they started as a small demonstration in reaction to an internet video, according to Susan Rice. The President said that if Iraqis liked their country, they could keep their country, period. 

Liberals: Control Your Personal Carbon Emissions!

Unfortunately, the Prevaricator in Chief and his buddies in the Pravda Press are not interested in helping the world avoid Jihadist chaos. There has been no global warming for 17 years, but global warming true believers don't want to be bothered with the facts. Their minds are already made up. It seems that our Dear Leader thinks the theoretical possibility of global warming is much more dangerous than the actual risks of terrorist attacks, or worse, Iran with nukes. I think the place for global warming true believers to start controlling carbon dioxide emissions is with their personal exhalations of CO2. They should try to hold their breath for as long as possible. Liberals need to remember, "If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem." 
Link for global warming:

http://www.climatedepot.com/20...

Global Warming Explains Bergdahl Trade

I have finally figured out the real reason for the Bergdahl trade.   I now know that the release of the Taliban 5 is part of our Dear Leader's environmental strategy. The Chicago Machine Prodigy is recycling terrorists! I'm sure Tom Steyer and all the other Mean Greens are thrilled at this new way to preserve the environment. Think of all the carbon dioxide released in the breathing required to produce one terrorist. This policy should be continued until Global Warming is stopped cold, period! (snark)

Sequester Cuts as Drug Ad Disclaimer

These cuts are not for everyone.  In some liberals, these cuts can cause blindness, nausea, anxiety and even rectal leakage.  Do not take these cuts if you have allergic reactions to tea.  Consult your Senators before taking these cuts.  They may have alternative cuts that might reduce undesirable side effects.